Shame is one of the most devastating feelings you can have. Yet it often operates under the radar so people don’t even know that’s what they are dealing with.
Shame isn’t just a dose of humility to keep your pride in check. Sure, it can keep people from committing shameless acts. But often shame is an unrelenting force that assaults your identity even when there’s no reason, communicating the message that you are unacceptably flawed even though you have God’s forgiveness.
Contrary to popular notions, shame doesn’t just attack people who have lived scandalous lives. Shame stalks prostitutes and professionals alike—everyone descended from Adam and Eve. Whether subtle or strong, steady or sporadic, shame makes its shrill voice heard:
You don’t have what it takes.
You don’t measure up.
You are a loser.
Rick was a land developer who had the vision and expertise to put together multi-million dollar deals. Then came the collapse of the banking and real estate industries in 2009 which precipitated the collapse of Rick’s business. All his properties were lost and right along with them, Rick lost his identity as one loved by God. Shame convinced him that his net worth was the only indication of his real worth. Now saddled by multi-million dollar debt, Rick was swallowed by shame. “You’re a failure. You’re worthless.”
Reta’s church family talks about divorce as if it were the unforgivable sin. It doesn’t seem to matter to them that her husband had an affair and abandoned her. “It’s not my fault,” she protests inwardly. But somehow she can’t even convince herself. Feeling stained by her divorce, shame has her convinced that there must be something wrong with her or she could have prevented it. “You’re unloveable.”
Rick and Reta (not their real names) are not alone.
Maybe you can relate. Maybe you are tired of letting this wild animal run roughshod over your life. If you want to find freedom from shame or help others do the same, sign up using the form above for a free guide to tame shame.
Grace for Shame Seminar and Bible Study
Save the Date! The next live Grace for Shame seminar will be in Charlottesville, Virginia on Friday night, March 20 and all day Saturday, March 21, 2020. Click this link for a seminar description: Grace for Shame Charlottesville. And click below to see a preview video.
AND for a seven-week group study on shame with scriptures, stories, songs and small group exercises designed to help people find freedom and recover the joy that shame has suffocated, take a look here.
What Others Are Saying
I have been a professional counselor for 33 years and I have both read and been taught much about shame from the perspective of psychology, and much of it has been very good. However, Robert Walter’s seminar on shame singlehandedly is the most effective and impacting source for healing shame I can recommend.
– Midge Wietzema, Counselor, Gilbert, AZ
I have been meaning to write to you for some time. My usual practice is to wait for a season before evaluating the impact of a seminar experience….and so I have! But I have to tell you brother “Grace for Shame” was probably one of the most informative and impactful experiences I’ve had in 30 years of ministry. In particular, the emphasis on joy has left lasting marks on both my heart and mind. Your teaching style is engaging and relaxed creating nice learning spaces for students to wonder, question and learn. Excellent work Robert!
– Pastor Mark Spencer, Blaine, MN